Poker Poker Poker
Saturday, February 28, 2009 - C00LHandNuke
Whew! Two days of intense poker and I finally made it. I was going to play for Team Duke at the Championship Table of the Best Damn Poker Show 2. I couldn’t be happier. The line up looked like this:
Seat #1, Jason (Hellmuth) – Jason and I played at the same semifinal table and got down to three-handed together. He was tough and aggressive. But he had a lot of tells. Unfortunately, he overheard our Team Duke meeting where we were reviewing some of the tells that Annie and I had picked up on. Even with the tells, I figured him to be the toughest competition at the table.
Seat #2, Shaundle (Duke) – he had been playing solid and was a veteran of the show. I was glad to have him as my right-hand wing man. I would avoid confrontations with him.
Seat #3, Mike “Shipitmuppet” (Hellmuth) – This was my first table with Mike. But I knew he played tight in the early stages. My plan was to use position against him on the flop and turn and bluff more than usual.
Seat #4, Me (Duke)
Seat #5, Scotty (Hellmuth) – I really didn’t know much about Scotty but in the hours before play started we struck up a conversation. Actually, Scotty talked a lot and I just listened and egged him on. Turns out we had many things in common: lived in St. Louis, worked in construction for several years, warped senses of humor . . . I used the conversation to try and build a rapport with him. At the table I would try to keep him talking and let him give away clues, while at the same time be his “buddy.”
Seat #6, Patrick (Duke) – I’ve now played quite a bit with Patrick and still don’t have a good read on him. But from Annie and Shawn Rice’s comments he is playing solid, great poker. No reason to get involved with him out of position (but because he’s tight, I might “borrow” his blind from time to time . . . “stealing” blinds just sounds so nefarious).
I was pretty pleased with our line-up going into the final table. Annie let the six remaining players from her team have a vote in who would be on the table. After Shaundle and I were selected we had a very close vote for the third spot. It came down between Patrick and Jamie. Patrick had played solid, but Jamie had shown great instincts, even if she was a bit spewy at times. In the end we chose Patrick. But I could tell that Annie really felt like she needed that “dash of crazy, X factor” to really have a shot at winning the thing. She and I talked privately for a few minutes after the roster was set and I told her that I had a crazy gear, she just hadn’t seen it yet. So with that boast in mind, I felt like I really had to come through.
For the last two days, through nearly six hours of poker I had played pretty squeaky tight. I’ve only had four hands shown down. My tight image is a result of not only my strategy, but my cards. Because Phil and Poker H0 have seen my hole cards the entire time, I felt pretty confident that they will tell my competition that I’m tight – so this fits perfectly into my plan to play like a wild man!
For the first three hours of the show (the part that aired last Monday night) I never held a hand. I had one pocket pair, 6’s in the blind, and had to lay it down preflop when Jason raised and Shaundle reraised. I never held any big aces, or for that matter any small aces! Nevertheless, I was playing more than my fair share of hands and maintaining my stack by capitalizing on my tight image. Most of these hands didn’t make the tape, and it’s too bad. You shoulda seen the swill I was raising with.
Shaundle misread Jason and they got it all in preflop with Shaundle’s Q5 in bad shape against Jason’s QQ. David lost to Goliath this time and Shaundle was eliminated. It looked pretty crazy on TV, and it looked really crazy from my seat. Needless to say I was really bummed that Jason doubled up and that Team Duke got zero points. The next elimination was a result of Mike getting it all in preflop with AJ against Patrick’s AQ. I was really surprised to see Mike get it in so weak against probably the tightest player at the table. But Patrick had been flailing around a lot and losing chips by the handful. So I guess Mike was basically shoving as a bluff hoping that Patrick would fold.
The hand that would literally shape the final table came up when I raised on the button with J7 offsuit (I told you I was raising with swill!). Scotty called from the big blind. The flop came J23 with two hearts. Scotty checked and I made the mandatory cbet. I say mandatory because with the flush draw out there I don’t want to give a free card and with top pair, weak kicker, I would really like to just end the hand right now. Scotty called. Thought flash – CRAP!!!! This can go wrong in so many ways. The turn brought another Jack. With just over 55k in the pot, Scotty bet into me on the turn for 21k. I had just a shade more than 71k in my stack. To me, Scotty’s smallish bet looked like a defensive bet where he might be trying to see a cheap river card. I tried to confirm my read by talking to Scotty a bit. Based on all the clues so far, I approximated his range of hands like this: Flush draw (50%), Pocket pair (30%), Bigger Jack or a Full House (20%). Taking this range into account, I decided to ship my last 52k into the 100k+ pot. Scotty would be getting about 3 to 1 on the call. I figured that if Scotty had me beat, he would get all of my chips on the river anyway. But if he had a flush draw with an over or two, he might make a bad call as a bigger than 4 to 1 dog. Also, if he had a reasonable pair like tens or a slow-played over pair, he might make a really bad call as a 20 to 1 dog. I didn’t want to just call Scotty’s bet on the turn because if the heart came on the river, I might get bluffed out of a huge pot and leave myself short-stacked.
When Scotty didn’t snap call, it told me he didn’t have a bigger Jack or a full house. I was relieved. Scotty wasn’t feeling the same way. In the banter style we had developed before the table began and while the play was going on, Scotty called me a “mother fucker” when I raised him all in. I didn’t take it personally, but I knew that he had just crossed a line that will result in a penalty. Even though I now knew I was ahead, I was still paying attention to the clues about Scotty’s hand that he was giving me. Why? Because, it would determine if I wanted to try and induce a call from a pair (If he had the flush draw, I didn’t have real strong feelings one way or another – both a call and a fold would be good for me). As Scotty talked the hand out it was obvious he had a pocket pair and thought I did too. I tried to manipulate a call, but after a while, Scotty folded.
Even though Scotty had folded, the mental games in this hand still weren’t over. Figuring there was a strong chance Scotty held a pocket pair higher than sevens, I decided to flash him the seven from my hand as I mucked. I knew if he had folded eights or better, he would be on instant tilt. But two things went wrong with my plan. First, Scotty only had 66. So showing him the seven probably made him think I had 77 (momentarily) and confirmed his good laydown. Second, Jason, at the other end of the table, asked to see the exposed card and the dealer incorrectly showed BOTH of my hole cards. Now I was the one on tilt! By exposing both hole cards, not only did Scotty now KNOW he had made a good laydown, but my “tight” image just went bye-bye. Talk about a plan backfiring!
But in the words of Ron Popeil, “Wait, there’s more!” When the hand was over, tournament director Matt Savage told Scotty that he would be assessed a one-round penalty for calling me a mother fucker. Scotty lost it. He thought the penalty of sitting out four hands was unfair and stormed out. Savage also announced that we were on lunch break. When we returned from lunch the blinds would be 3000/6000 with a 1000 ante. The stacks were approximately this:
Jason = 239k
Shawn = 157k
Patrick = 132k
Scotty = 72k (59k after the penalty)
When we broke for lunch, the players weren’t allowed to talk to our coaches. Obviously getting unlimited coaching during the match with the benefit of knowing hole cards would be too much. So Patrick, Jason and I ate lunch together. Scotty was nowhere to be seen. As we sat there eating, we heard a rumor that he had left the casino, checked out of the hotel and was last seen headed to the airport. At the time, I couldn’t imagine someone walking away from a $20,000 free roll, but on the off chance that the rumor was true, I started to work on a new strategy for Jason.
The team situation was basically this: Because Shaundle went out first, Team Hellmuth would win the match if either Patrick or I went out in fourth place. With every member of the winning team getting a $8,500 Aruba package, this was real money in our pocket. So in effect, every member of Team Duke was on the money bubble. But the members of Team Hellmuth weren’t. Jason knew this. We talked about it over lunch. And based on his big stack play in a similar situation during the semifinals, I knew that he would abuse the bubble like Ike with Tina. Given Scotty’s stack, he would be blinded off in 23 hands. I simply couldn’t let Jason abuse the bubble for 23 hands. If I did, the stacks at the end would look something like this:
Jason = 455k
Shawn = 85k
Patrick = 60k
The solution was to remind Jason about the individual prize at stake. The highest finishing team member on EACH team would get a $12,000 WSOP Main Event package. All Jason had to do was not go bust in 23 hands and Scotty would in effect hand him $12,000 cash. I pointed this out to Jason and he was quick to note that he could still play a big pot because neither Patrick nor I could bust him. We were both playing the head games. “True,” I said, “but if I grab one extra round before you double me up, you’ll be shorter than Scotty and then you will have to risk ruin before Scotty goes broke or else Scotty will out last you!” At first Jason was skeptical, but we did the math together and he saw how it could happen. With that seed planted, I went for the kill. Knowing Jason was a highly-regarded on line player I asked him what the message boards would say if he lost first place prize money to a guy who was sitting out. Jason tried to play it off, but I thought I was getting to him. Picking up the blinds at least once was crucial to my strategy. And as we prepared to return to the table, I was psyching myself up to be the one abusing the bubble. Tune in to next week show on Fox Sports to see how it works out . . .
Tags: bestdamnpokershow, players, Poker Poker Poker, tv, VIP
Comments (1)
Wednesday, February 11, 2009 - Vincent
As you guys may already know there have been lots of changes recently, not only we have improved some of our Promotions, tournaments and many other things at Ultimate Bet, but on the VIP Team we are having changes as well, thankfully we are going to have a new generation of VIP Hosts, that will enforce our services even more.
One important thing that also enforces our team union are our nice gatherings. Here at the VIP Team, we have been gathering several times to throw some VIP parties and of course, a party is not a party unless you have a least a small Poker Tourney! YEAH!
Anyways, the thing is that we usually have a couple of drinks, lots of food, sometimes Guitar Hero or Rock Band, but recently, we have like more poker tournaments played than usual, I do not know what is the main reason of this but it has become an important “to do thing” when we throw a party.
Over the last games we have had, AD has finished on 1st place on almost all of them, he is like so lucky and whenever we short stacked him, he starts (like all of a sudden) enduring a lot and even though we all try to beat him up whenever he goes all in with his small stack in order to not allowing him to win another Tournament (hehe), he always recovers and start beating us out one by one until he ends again on first place.
Whenever he came to the office at the next day, I always bother him and start saying that he was so lucky and that hopefully it lucky streak will not last for too long.. lol.. But of course I am just joking and I guess I am a bit jealous of seeing him winning all the Tourneys that I do not admit that he has been playing really good and taking the right decisions every time he invested money on the pots on our last few games.. LUCK LUCK.. Haha.. (Yeah I need to win one of those tourneys one of these days)
I guess that the fact that poker gives us all these many feelings at the same time, then it is one of the main reasons why this game is so fun and exciting at the same time. I really hope all of you here at Ultimate Bet enjoy and have so much fun as we do when playing poker.
Bye for now
Tags: loyalty, players, Poker Poker Poker, pokernights, pokerstrategy, RAI$E, team, VIP
Comments (1)
Wednesday, December 17, 2008 - smokin_aces
To write a blog post I enjoy getting into the right headspace and physical surroundings. For example, I know from experience that I don’t have much to say in the early mornings. Throughout the afternoon I’m firing on all cylinders and my mind is moving too fast while dealing with the ‘important stuff’ to slow down and reflect. Once in a while I pound out a very aggressive reaction piece in the aft, but nothing calm and introspective. After work it seems there is always some tedious task around the house that needs attending to, and after dinner I always prefer to just ‘be’. (and by that I mean get a few tables going while relaxing on the porch) It’s in the hour before sleep that I find myself most inclined to look back on the day’s events and comb my mind for inspiration. Since I sneak in at least two hours of online poker during the day (sometimes more once my wife falls asleep and I pull my laptop onto my stomach in bed)(don’t worry she doesn’t read this), I prefer writing about poker. So tonight I cleared my mind and just encouraged the flow of creativity. Instead I got blood curdling anxiety.
Why? Because the holidays irk me to no end with the huge amount of planning, spending, planning, spending etc. Tonight the grim realization has hit me that yet again, i’ve left my gift shopping till the last damned weekend before hell day. I despise shopping for gifts for many reasons but the biggest is that I really don’t think people want half the crap they get and why should they? Do I really claim to know the people around me well enough to choose the one or two items to give them each year. We’re odds people and we know that is just not likely. Sure you can ‘ask’ them what they want but then you’re not really surprising them with anything. And then you have the budgeting! That’s the toughest part. I have actually put things back on the store shelf after realizing that although it’s $129.99, it could come across as $69.99 if you didn’t know any better. Why spend that much for some brother in law’s mother if she won’t even realize it’s worth? Plus I believe wholeheartedly that with all the pressures facing us, the real value of the holidays is the time spent together. The time we take to slow down, look at each other, appraise the wonder of our lives and celebrate the fact that we can even celebrate. The gift giving is secondary and relatively unimportant. So, in order to put my mind at ease, I had an epiphany. I’m not going shopping at all. I’m not desperately trying to figure out who would like what and where I can get them. Gone are the days when I draw my shopping course on a map of the city in order to minimize the agony of the holiday traffic rat race. Instead I’m going to turn to the thing that makes poker work. The poker machine also does many other wondrous tricks and one of them is online shopping. It’s gift cards for everyone this year. Simple, elegant, universal and practical. You know what else? It’s actually VERY thoughtful! Instead of forcing something on someone they have to fake liking until they can regift it or bury it in a closet, you’re providing them with the joy of selecting something they actually want.
This didn’t have a whole lot to do with poker and damn it if that was not my original intention. Oh well, as usual the writing process has been cathartic. I no longer have that deep, nagging holiday anxiety. Now I can join some tables for an hour and sleep in peace, knowing the gifts are in the mail.
Tags: Online Poker, Smokin Aces
Comments (0)
Tuesday, December 16, 2008 - smokin_aces
In last weeks ‘Ask a Pro’, Scott Ian was featured answering a question. The nature of the question was basically an inquiry into speeding up the poker learning curve. As most likely know, Scott is a relative newcomer to the world of poker, but has quickly made a name for himself in an arena other than rock. I want to focus on one part of his answer. It concerns learning the math that should be the basis for important game decisions.
“So to answer your question I would say that learning the math that backs up your decisions is key. It will really help you make the correct decisions and in the long run you will profit. As you play longer and you start to develop your own game, a lot of these decisions will be second nature, but at the beginning knowing the math behind the decision will make this game of so little information a bit more transparent and hopefully you’ll always get your money in good!”
This is a technique that has consumed a large part of my spare time thinking. So much of what we do and what happens in our immediate surroundings can be broken down into a series of odds. Since i’ve gotten deeper into the game of poker, i find the mindset permeating into my daily routine. I look for my ‘outs’ in a given situation. I survey the potential outcomes that are in my favour and make a logic and gut based estimate on my best course of action. Just this morning while driving to work (late) I came to the familiar crossroads where each day i ponder taking a different route. Each route with the potential of being faster, or not, depending on a variety of factors including traffic, light pattern, construction etc. My mind is now becoming trained at making split second, calculated decisions. I’m not always right, in fact i’m mostly NOT right for what seems like forever, and then once in a while i’ll have a few days in a row where I seemingly catch a few breaks.
In addition to odds calculation, I often draw loose analogies to ‘pot size’ in my daily life. In business, I tend to break down decisions by looking at the ‘pot size’ of a given situation. This does not have to be a financial equation at all, in fact more often than not this doesn’t relate directly to money. How much time have certain parties invested, what do they stand to gain or lose versus what they put in, how committed is someone, how much can I trust the signs they’re showing me, how much do I stand to gain versus how much I have to put in? etc.
It gets interesting when you must make a judgement based on little more than insufficient information, a general knowledge of odds, intuition and discipline. For example, if the value of investment in a situation is ‘x’ and the potential payoff is ‘5x’, but the odds it will payoff are 1 in 4, my discipline tells me to go for it every time. In the long run I ’should’ end up on top. Run that scenario 4 times and I lose ‘3x’ but gain ‘5x’ for a profit of ‘2x’. We all know it doesn’t work out quite like that though does it? Just like Scott Ian said, we can only make the game a “bit more transparent”. Scott, if you’re reading this, next time let us know how to train your intuition.
This is the question everyone wants the answer to. Can it be learned? Can it be measured? To my knowledge no evidence exists of legitimate scientific testing resulting in proof of intuition in humans. If it does, wouldn’t you love to see it?
Tags: Poker Poker Poker
Comments (0)
Tuesday, December 9, 2008 - smokin_aces
I’m looking forward to the holidays for a variety of reasons. Food, family, friends, a break from the fast paced life and lastly some relaxation. If I’m lucky, after the holiday rush slows down I can grab a few days of lethargic living. I plan to survive on little more than leftover turkey, stuffing and lots of beer. This year I’m traveling back to my home town so I’m entitled to take up residence on a few key couches and get down to business. I have a few online tournaments scheduled and i’ll likely play multiple tables at all times. However, on Dec 27th i’m going out with my highschool buddies to witness what may be one of the greatest sporting events of all time. The UFC 92 ‘Ultimate 2008′ has 3 serious fights on the card that might as well be 3 main events. For those that follow the tv show “The Ultimate Fighter”, you’ll spot a few familiar faces. More frequently, fighters who gained their first notoriety from that reality show are proving themselves worthy to claim their spot next to the Chuck Liddles and Royce Gracies of the world. If this match is any indication of what’s to come, that show will continue to be the new found spawning ground for future Ultimate Fighting Championship heros.
In reverse order, these are the fights to watch.
1- Wanderlei “The Axe Murderer” Silva vs Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson

Axe Murderer

Rampage
Rampage has beaten ex UFC Champion Chuck Liddell and is no stranger to hype in the ocatagon. In fact, he’s lost twice already to The Axe Murderer but this time promises to crack out a few new tricks. I’m not sure what it is, but I love seeing rematches between two foes each more vocal than the next about their mutual hatred. Silva has been quoted on many occasions saying that he doesn’t like Jackson as a person. Wow. Personal attacks. It makes the fire burn that much hotter.
My pick – The Axe Murderer is going to rip Rampage limb from limb.
2- Antonio “Minotauro” Nogueira vs Frank Mir

Minotauro

Mir
These two fighters are arguably the greatest submission fighters of all time. Both are ex Ultimate Fighter coaches, and Frank Mir is the former heavy weight champion. Minotauro’s Brazilian roots are the best credentials any solid ground fighter can have, not to mention his impressive record and incredible stamina. He’s been known to get his ass seemingly handed to him for 3 rounds and then, just before he looks ready to die, he revitalizes, pounces and abruptly ends the fight in a submission. Frank Mir, while at the top of his game, suffered a horrible accident while riding his motorcycle. After being hit by a reckless driver, he was left with a severely broken leg. Because of his tremendous shape, he bounced back physically, but his head didn’t get back in the game. He suffered numerous humiliating defeats, but after his wife called him a “pussy, and an embarrassment to your children” he got serious again. Since being cussed like a schoolboy by his mammy, Mir has mounted a stubborn comeback and looks poised to make a good showing .
My pick – I would have picked the Minotauro, but after hearing about the tongue lashing Mir got from his butch wife, I have to believe he’d stop at nothing to prevent further public emasculation.
3- Forrest Griffin vs ‘Sugar’ Rashad Evans

Griffin

Sugar
First of all, has anyone else noticed how much Rashad ‘Sugar’ Evans looks like Cuba Gooding Jr, especially from Jerry McGuire? This is the fight everyone is waiting for. Is it because the original “Ultimate Fighter” Forrest Griffin is a blood thirsty monster who’s left a trail of spines behind him? No, it’s because Rashad Evans has laid two of the most memorable knockouts in UFC history. One of them was just this past September when he sent Chuck Liddell back in time. That knockout will most certainly grace every highlight real in the first week of 2009. Although Evans was no stranger to UFC glory (he had a Draw with blond bimbo Tito Ortiz in 2007) punching off Liddells jaw instantly shot him to the top of the list. As well, he brings an air of WWF style flamboyance to the octagon that most fighters are too serious to entertain. I’m not saying I like it, but his atypical, non serious nature makes you think one of two things. This guy has got it all figured out because those super intense fighters take it all too seriously and let their nerves become their own demise. OR!…This guy is not taking it seriously enough and has already let his ego go to his soon-to-be-removed head. One thing’s for sure, Rashad WILL start taking it seriously when he sees how much movement Griffin throws at him early in round one. Evans has a very loose, slow style but his desire to wait for calculated missteps will be foiled by Griffins aggressive power and explosiveness. Griffin will not wait for Evans to come to him. All that remains to be seen is what happens when they start connecting. I will say this. Forrest Griffin is pissed off and does not want to loose. Also, Rashad Evans has won a knockout by kick and by punch. He said he wants this win to be by submission. If he seriously abandons his stand up game for the ground and pound, he’s screwed.
My pick – Rashad Evans will scurry around the ring looking for an in, but Forrest won’t let him have it. It will go 3 rounds and end in Forrest’s favour.
For all the action and future Ultimate Fighting Championship events, check the Ultimate 2008 site.
GL
Aces
Tags: UFC
Comments (1)
Sunday, November 23, 2008 - smokin_aces
Why do we play Poker? Apart from the enjoyment of the intense mental battles, the adrenaline rushes and the thrill of the chase, we want to win MONEY. There are a million ways to get cold hard cash, but there is an undeniable allure to using our instincts and wit in a battle infiltrated by fate and destiny. We all believe that at different moments in time we’ve got ‘a feeling’ or that we’re tuned in to something no one else has yet noticed. The idea that we can act on these in a manner defined as gambling has a classic appeal that has been around for centuries. This appeal is no more closely mirrored than in Poker’s unlikely sibling, financial investing.
The close relationship of playing Poker versus playing in the stock market has been documented many times. It’s no secret that Poker’s harrowed champions share many attributes of successful investment gurus. The object of this column is to spend time examining some of the qualities, philosophies and techniques of the historic and present day hero figures from both the world of Poker, and the financial investment community. With ‘luck’ and perseverance, we’ll outline some areas we can all stand to improve, in hopes that collectively we’ll increase our returns on both fronts.
Discipline is not specific to either Poker or investing. Most people’s first connotation of the word is negative, and usually involved ‘being disciplined’ as a result of a childhood wrongdoing. In the present context, we’re interested in learning ways to discipline ourselves to remain true to the strategies and theories we’ve selected away from the table, and before the market opens. (It should be noted that we’re making the assumption your Poker/investing style is not a series of aimless, wanton acts with no preconceived game plan, void of reason or logic) This isn’t the place to discuss actual strategies, but we can discuss the importance of remaining consistent with your chosen one. Mathematically speaking, in order to make gains over time, you’ll have to be comfortable with an average rate of return much lower than what most would consider a large profit. Sure there will be times when you make profits in leaps and bounds, but there will also be other times when you lose big. As long as you’ve got the discipline to consistently bet on the odds in your favour while wagering an amount you can lose without busting out for good, chances are good you’ll profit in the long term.
We want to hear stories of how you’ve used an element of discipline either in Poker or as part of an investment strategy, and how it’s benefitted you. As well, if you’ve suffered a loss because you failed to remain disciplined, tell us about that as well.
Tags: investing, Poker Poker Poker, Poker Strategy
Comments (0)
Sunday, November 23, 2008 - smokin_aces
Or at least he was in ’89. Celebrities can sometimes achieve ‘star’ status in a relatively short period of time. Too often their star fizzles out and they become another flash in the pan one hit wonder, destined to strive desperately for at least ‘c’ list exposure. More often than not, just by surviving the Hollywood School of Hard Knocks they’ve turned their name into a minor commodity. Most probably hope their perceived value can be applied to a smaller stage. It probably goes without saying that no celebrity’s goal is to end up as fodder for some tabloid media outlet’s ‘Where Are They Now’ list. We’ll meet them halfway. Our intent here is not to point, jeer and laugh from the cheap seats while recanting some washed up tv icon’s painful descent into obscurity. Instead, we’ll highlight ex-A listers who picked themselves up after years of tequila sucking and infomercial host auditioning, dusted themselves off and got serious about Poker.
In the late 80’s and early 90’s we waited with baited breath each week to watch Winnie, Paul and Kevin stumble through early adolescence. “The Wonder Years” was our endearing glimpse into the coming-of-age struggles and dysfunctions of a post-war patriarchal America. The main character Kevin (played by Fred Savage) was as American as apple pie.

Soon after the show began airing Fred Savage took the teen-zine covers by storm and was recreated in poster form on the closet doors of young girls everywhere. It was only a matter of time until Fred Savage joined the Hollywood glitterati and claimed his throne as another misbehaving, talented Icon. It turned out his career in the limelight would come to a grinding halt after the show ended in 1993. Although he had appeared in some large grossing movies prior to and during the Wonder Years (The Boy Who Could Fly 1986, The Princess Bride 1987, The Wizard 1989) he didn’t continue his rise in Hollywood as a grown up actor.

Thankfully for all his fans (myself included), he survived many obstacles and was able to take supporting roles in numerous small budget productions. In fact, in recent years Fred has re-established himself as a Hollywood mainstay with his role as Mitch Crumb in the successful TV comedy ‘Crumbs’. However, arguably his highest profile public sightings have been rubbing elbows with the Professional Poker set. That’s right, “Kevin Arnold” is now a calculating poker odds maker trying his hand at the Pro Poker circuit. He appeared as a competitor on Bravo’s ‘Celebrity Poker Showdown’ alongside Jennifer Tilly and Brett Butler. He was even subjected to commentary by the ‘beloved’ Poker icon (and UB’s own) Phil Hellmuth. Fred also made a memorable appearance on the first episode of “World Poker Tour – Hollywood Home Game”, going all in against Aisha Tyler to benefit the Childhelp USA charity. As well, he’s been spotted in Vegas many times recently with fat stacks of chips and hordes of hot models frolicking around him. Ok, that last part isn’t true. But just like Kevin Arnold’s obsession with his sultry classmate and neighbour Winnie Cooper, he can wish.
Tags: Celebrities, Poker Poker Poker
Comments (2)
Saturday, November 22, 2008 - smokin_aces
Halfway through the third time watching Lady Gaga’s video for her brand new single “Poker Face”, I realized the song is about poker. Sort of……. Lady Gaga, while stunning visually, is not exactly an artist exuding depth and talent. Instead you get the impression she was the face and body matched by record executives to songs that didn’t make a Gwen Stefani album. However, that said, I’ve not recently seen the game of poker made to look so….uhhhhh….screw it, SEXY! The song’s lyrical content is basically a strung together montage of x-rated double entendres made from familiar poker lingo. Granted, with Lady Gaga’s over the top sex appeal oozing from every pore in her taut body, she could make unclogging a toilet sound sexy with the right beat.
From the very first chord progression you’re happy. The brief but obvious ‘nod’ to ‘Sweet Dreams’ is enough for the first time listener to feel welcome. These cheap parlor tricks are par for the musical course these days, so ironically it gets a pass. The first audible line other than the voice that may be Timbaland reciting “Mum mum mum mum” around 20 times, is “I wanna hold em like they do in Texas Plays”. That line must be about her desire for multiple sex partners. As a patriarchal old school man, that frightens me, so I like it. “Fold em let em hit me raise it baby stay with me, I love it” has all the sentiments of a veiled cry for domination. Again, scary but alluring. It starts getting more interesting when she hits the pre-chorus. “OH OH OH, I’ll get him hot, show him what I’ve got, OH OH OH”. At this point in the song I realized that she chose poker as a theme so that she could make references like this without sounding like a complete tramp! It’s brilliant really (I mean if it had actually worked that is). Poker has many phrases that can be twisted to sound sexual, and Lady Gaga has exploited this to the fullest extent.
However, her sultry delivery on phrases like “I’m bluffin with my muffin”, while pointing to her crotch (classy), travel from “ambiguous-land” right into “fucking obvious-ville”. She spends the first half of the song using poker as a way to skeeze up the airways while hiding behind the “perception” curtain, and then blasts right into full blown lyrical porn. However, her (and I say her as if these creative decisions were hers) less-than-subtle re-interpretations of phrases from the poker lexicon actually do make you want to play poker…..covered in baby oil, with a harem of beautiful women, lying on a leopard skin rug.
Tags: music
Comments (1)
