The Ultimate
Friday, March 27, 2009 - John Greene
Joe Kittinger is a name that, if I had my way, would be right up there with Chuck Yeager on the list of People Who Do Incredible Things Involving Flight. In August on 1960, Kittinger rode in a tiny capsule attached to a helium balloon to the very edge of Earth’s atmosphere and after reaching 102,800 feet above sea level, he did the only thing he could do: he jumped out. For science.
It took Kittinger over an hour and a half to reach the altitude necessary for the experiment he was participating in at the behest of the nascent space program. In order to prove that astronauts could survive in a near-vaccuum environment, the Air Force captain leaped into a void that was 110 degrees below zero and aithin 20 seconds, Kittinger’s body had accelerated past the speed of sound and reached a staggering 714 miles an hour. This made him the fastest man alive for one brief moment, and set an unaided speed record that will likely never be broken.
It took a full four and a half minutes for Kittinger to be slowed enough by the heavier air he was plunging into to safely open his parachute and drift down to the New Mexico desert. Kettinger didn’t get to be part of the Mercury program, or Gemini, or Apollo, but he did prove that we can do things unimagined, setting two world records and making every weekend warrior who jumps out of a plane in tandem with an instructor look like the amateur they are.
Not that you could pay me to jump out of a damn plane.
Tags: air force, joseph kittinger, NASA, skydiving
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Friday, March 20, 2009 - John Greene
After watching Endless Summer this past weekend in an attempt to shake the winter blahs (an activity that may have misfired, as the better half ended up booking us tickets to Florida for the end of the month as she is really effing tired of highs that are just over freezing,) I found myself wading into the world of surfing, an activity that I am perfectly incapable of embarking. It never occured to me before, but a lot of the things these guy do qualify for “Ultimate” Status. Check these out…
In January 2006, Pete Cabrinha rode a seventy-foot wave at a break in Maui known as Jaws. They managed to do this by using a jet ski to tow Cabrinha out to where the break occured. His ride was not very long, but I don’t think anyone would really want to be under a 70-foot wall of water for very long. (However, if you want to talk distance, then talk to Picuruta Salazar from Brazil. He rode a single tidal wave for thirty-seven minutes, traveling over 7 1/2 miles.)
Apparently, everyone deciding to surf on the same wave as a bunch of other people is a thing and 73 people did it at once off the coast near Cape Town, South Africa. They may have only rode the wave for five seconds before losing their formation, but they handily crushed the previous record of 44 people sit in…Ireland. Yes, that Ireland. Yes, people surf there. No, I didn’t think it was possible, either.
(And then there was the time in 2005 when 46 people got on the same board at the same time, but that’s just silly.)
Tags: surfers, surfing, The Ultimate, world records
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Monday, March 16, 2009 - John Greene
Robbie Maddison is a 27-year-old motocross champion from Australia. He started off as an electrician’s apprentice after graduating high school and began riding competitively after years of dinking around on his dirt bike. As it turns out, Robbie ended up being pretty good at it and began taking home trophies.
The thing is, and any poker player that wins frequently can tell you this, taking home the prize sometimes isn’t enough. He decided to set some records. In December of 2007, he broke the world motorcycle jumping record, traveling over 98 meters (322 feet) on a dirt bike. Apparently, jumping over a football field wasn’t enough though, as Maddison beat his own record just three months later at the Crusty Demons Night Of World Records show in Melbourne, jumping over 340 feet.
You can watch his December, 2007 jump or check him out as he jumps onto the top of the Arc at Paris Las Vegas and then decides to do something even more rad. This guy is the ultimate dirt bike hero.
Tags: championship, dirt bike, motocross, robbie maddison
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Friday, March 13, 2009 - John Greene
If you’ve ever wanted to see a man dive out of a helicopter and ride a marlin, then this is the video for you.
Tags: fishing, helicopter, marlin
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Saturday, March 7, 2009 - John Greene
In 2000, Davo Karnicar did something that everyone thought was out-and-out impossible: he skied down the south face of Mount Everest from the summit to the base. His second attempt, and the one that got him in the record books, was after a long rest and recovery period from a 1996 attempt in which Karnicar lost two fingers. After cresting the peak at 7 in the morning on October 7, 2000, Karnicar took an hour break and then strapped his skis on and didn’t remove them for four and a half hours, moving down the treacherous slope and past historic locations like the Hillary Step, the Lhotse face, and the Khumbu Icefall.
He’s the only man to this day to have made the complete descent and so he’s the Ultimate Skier. The next time you’re complaining about the powder on the bunny slope in New Hampshire, think about what he went through. No lifts, no lodge, no cup of hot cocoa waiting for him. Just cold icy death and a downward plummet no other has managed.
Tags: Davo Karnicar, mt everest, ski, skiing
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Friday, February 20, 2009 - John Greene
Since I mentioned GOdzilla last week, here’s another Ultimate item for his resume: Morita Shouji is a Japanese Toy Company that’s selling a series based on the popular Japanese monster and his cinematic bretheren, including Mothra and King Ghidorah. Instead of plastic, however, these are all made of wood, are hand-carved, and are astoudingly expensive, starting at $3,000. The pictured King Ghidorah (who is, face it, freaking amazing) is over six feet tall and weighs 300 pounds. Sure, he’s $23,000, but you can make that in a weekend if you play your cards right with us.
Tags: action figures, godzilla, japan, king ghidora, mothra, toys
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Friday, February 13, 2009 - John Greene
I’ve been laid up with something I picked up on last week’s trip and found myself watching the Godzilla box set my better half bought me a couple of weeks ago. This is what I’ve learned about Godzilla and how it relates to poker: don’t mess with him. He will take all your chips then melt your face off with his atomic breath. He’ll then slap his tail against your forehead and make you bleed before crushing your spine and going on to his next victim.
So, it’s sort of like playing with Phil Hellmuth. Have you seen him on Best Damn Poker Show this season? Man. He’s so good at being Phil.
Tags: godzilla
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Friday, January 30, 2009 - John Greene
Yes, it’s ugly, but it’s still a shark! A friend of mine sent a link about this to me because one’s been seeing in Tokyo Bay recently, likely wondering when Godzilla is going to show up so. It’s certainly an inspiration for those of us who don’t quite have the bankroll that lets us wear Brooks Brothers to the table. You can find out more about this amazingly hideous beast on the Gobin Shark wikipedia page. Apparently, it’s the last surviving species of a line that goes back to the dinosaurs and those teeth retract into its mouth when it’s not, you know, on the move, looking for something to devour. (The horn’s sort of a giveaway though, isn’t it?)
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Friday, January 9, 2009 - John Greene
This “artificial lagoon” at Chile’s San Alfonso del Mar resort has been entered into the Guinness Book of World Records as the largest swimming pool on the planet. Eight hectares in size and containing a mind-blowing 250,000 cubic meters of water, this firmly beats up the competition, including the famous Orthlieb pool in Casablanca, a 150m x 100m goliath. This bad boy is a full kilometer long.
It was designed by Fernando Fischmann, a biochemist and businessman who has been in the business for some time and features what must be the clearest water in the world – you can see down a full 35 meters with complete transparency. You can fit 6,000 standard swimming pools inside the San Alfonso Pool, which is I-don’t-know-how-many of those Donald Duck swimming pools that my mom dragged out of the basement and inflated in my youth.
(Mind you, I just know that those crazy Dubai residents are planning something to beat this, despite no official announcements. I can just feel it.)
Tags: chile, south america, swimming pools, The Ultimate
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Sunday, January 4, 2009 - John Greene
Jack Of Hearts (real name? Jack Hart) first showed up in an issue of The Deadly Hands Of Kung-Fu back in 1976. His father, a human scientist, hooked up with an alien known as a Contraxian (because that’s what happens in comic books) and Jack was the result. Accidentally dosed with something called “Zero Fluid” as his old man died in front of him, Jack gained superhuman stamina and durability because of his half-alien genetic makeup, along with the power to generate “Zero Energy” and shoot it out of his limbs to zap people in the face or fly.
Jack of Hearts, despite having a totally rad name and a goofy costume, never managed to do much in the Marvel Comics universe. He fought Iron Man before teaming up with him (like pretty much every superhero team-up ever,) fought space commies on the moon, got a computer brain installed, got a suit designed to keep his “Zero Energy” in check, and basically was a walking, talking advertisement for playing cards. Sadly, Jack was pretty much relegated to b-list status and was used for cannon fodder in some Avengers story or another, blowing up in space after taking a kidnapper out for a bit of fresh air in the upper atmosphere.
Trivia Note: Jack was never invited to the floating poker game hosted by The Thing. That’s just mean, guys.
Tags: comic book poker, jack of hearts
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