Shady “home” games
Friday, August 21, 2009 - Bryan Devonshire
Tuesday night I found myself playing in one of the more interesting private, shady, and illegal “home” games that I’ve ever been involved in. It was nothing compared to the game of “Three by Four” I played in the back room of an illegal strip club in Nassau last January with Brandon Cantu, Jeff Madsen, and Matt Woodward and four locals, but it was an interesting experience nonetheless.
I’m in Cornelius, North Carolina on the apex of my cross-continent motorcycle ride staying with my friend Court Harrington. Apparently casino poker is illegal around here or something, I’m not really sure, but Court is very much a pro and makes his living playing in home games like these. We showed up at the place around 10pm, and it looked like we were pulling into a police substation. We were in the middle of South Charlotte, and after turning off the road onto a 50 foot driveway we came to a double chain link gate, locked, with barbed wire running the perimeter. There were single story unmarked brick buildings to my right and left, and a packed parking lot beyond. A Rastafarian dude who I think was named Hakoom walked out from the shadows, Court knew him, he opened the gate, and we pulled in and parked.
We walked to the door that said “Employees Only,” knocked, it buzzed, we walked in, three feet later hit another door with no handle, it was opened by Hakoom, and then we were standing at the foot of a 60′ hallway. To our right was a game, the “front game”. Turns out it was a 2-5 NL game. The main guy/host/guy that cashed us out greeted Court, met me, and then gave me the tour. I met Mary Jane the cute massage girl. I met Watson, the also very cute food and beer chick. I showed up at the place with a dude named Courtney and met a chick named Watson. They wonder why the rest of the country thinks they’re backwards in the South. We walk into the back, see the 11 handed 5-10-20 game, Court said it was bad news since 8 of the people in the game would be there all night and he was going to be third on the list.
So, I started getting worked on by Mary Jane to help my back through 25 days of motorcycle and 2 days of wakeboarding, and 15 minutes later they start up a new 2-5 game behind me. Even through there was nothing relaxing about the torture she was putting my back through, it was a necessary pain and I didn’t want to quit, but the players filing behind my chair were making it annoying so I joined the game also.
The whole time I was getting tortured by Mary Jane I was also being entertained by one dude, who turns out later has never been to Vegas, explaining to another dude everything there is to know about poker and Vegas. It was entertaining and annoying at the same time. He sounded like an internet nerd, using every poker term possible splashed with phrases like “owning souls”, “vpip”, and “snap call”.
So he sits at the new game, and the kid just keeps on keepin’ on runnin’ his mouth. He wasn’t being rude or anything, but he was giving Court and I his entire playbook and forcing us into the exchanged secret grin. I asked him what his name was online, big mistake imo because it could have blown my cover, but fortunately he didn’t know the badbeatninja. Turns out he plays exclusively on Ultimate Bet, told me his name, told me that he heavily multi-tables .50-1 nl, and many other things that insured Court and I would never lose any sort of pot to him barring some cooler. At one point he was telling his apprentice about how he floated a guy, I said, “What’s a float?” And I gotta give him credit for his answer, “It’s better than a sink.”
So he gets moved to the front game, Court and I giggle a bit more, and eventually I move up front also. To my left are two young-ish dudes, that dude, and the youngest dude, all with decently deep stacks, and all still talking shop like it was 2+2. I made some little rebuking comment along the lines of asking why they talk strategy so much at the table, and then I played this hand against one of the two non 2+2 frequenting players at the table.
I open early to $15 with QhJh. He calls in the SB. Flop Ts8h3s. Check, I bet $20, he calls. Turn Qc. Check, check. River 5d. He bets $55.
“I call.”
“One pair.”
“Which pair?”
Shrugs, “Small pair.”
“That’s good news. Which one?”
“Pair of fives.”
…
He shows me one five.
“I can beat that, but I still want to know what you have,” you ****tard, because the only ****ing way you’re going to get to see both of my cards is if I get to see both of yours, because I caught your ass bluffing and I want to know what you ****ing tried to do it with, and I also want to know how the **** you show up with a pair of fives. He shows me the 54o, I table my hand and drag the pot, and just couldn’t help myself and say, “Nice flop.”
That’s the sick part though. If I hadn’t hit one of ten cards on the turn or river, he probably wins that pot. He was the fish in the game too. Fish aren’t supposed to float, even if it’s out of position.
Court and I left the game shortly thereafter, simply because it wasn’t good. We weren’t going to lose much barring coolers, but we weren’t going to be winning much either. While driving home and thinking about the game, I really think those kids have ruined that game. One, it’s pretty annoying to listen to them talk, even though I know what they’re talking about. I can’t imagine what it’s like for the casual player, which are supposed to be filling these games (according to Court). I’m an ok player and I didn’t want to play there anymore, and I’m sure that plenty of their fish have thought the same thing. They just sat back and talked about eight, twelve, and twenty tabling online poker all day, threads on two plus two, and analyzing hand after hand, explaining why they did things, and damnit, most people playing poker that are “fish” aren’t dumb people, especially the higher up you move in stakes. The money has to come from somewhere. So, they’re either going to learn, or not come back to the game.
People wonder why poker has gotten tougher. I know that I’m guilty of it too, and I know that I need to spend more time talking about fly fishing and motorcycles than about poker at the table. Let’s make this game fun again, stop making people better for free, and insure that we can remain unemployed for a long time.
Peace and good luck,
Devo
Tags: 2 + 2, Brandon Cantu, Jeff Madsen, Matt Woodward, Nassau, Poker Poker Poker, Poker talk, Vegas
